I was late yesterday. I hate being late especially when it is entirely my fault. I just didn't time things quite right and I ended up standing in a queue in a shop when I really should have been somewhere else. I looked at the queue and I looked at my watch and tossed up whether it was worth walking out of the shop and only being seven minutes late or staying in the queue and being ten minutes late. I opted for the latter - and in the grand scheme of things it didnt really matter too much that I was ten minutes late . But I don't like it. I'm usually a good timekeeper. I was thinking about it whilst brushing my teeth last night and for some reason the story of Lazarus came to mind. You know the one, Lazarus is ill, Jesus is told, Jesus doesnt come, Lazarus dies, Jesus saunters slowly arriving several days late, everyone is a bit upset - even Jesus. And then He does the miracle and raises Lazarus from the dead. ( John 11 ) And they all live happily ever after.
I've heard that story so many times before and nearly always the emphasis is either on Mary and Martha, the two sisters, or on Jesus and why He delayed. And the fact that He wept. But last night I got to thinking about Lazarus in this whole thing.
Lazarus was Jesus's friend. They hung out together. Jesus came for sleepovers. They were buddies. And Lazarus knew all about Jesus's miracles and the healings and had heard lots of the teaching. So when Lazarus got sick I suppose he might have assumed that Jesus would come. Or maybe even that Jesus wouldn't need to come but would just speak a word and that he would be healed After all, Jesus had done that for the servant of a Roman - the enemy - just spoke a word and the miracle of healing happened long-distance. So surely Lazarus must have felt reassured that even though he was sick and Jesus was somewhere else, that it would all be OK. The sisters sent word to Jesus. Lazarus was getting worse. The sisters must have said to their brother ' Don't worry, we have sent word to Jesus. It will be fine. He will be on His way.' But Jesus didn't come.
Imagine if you are Lazarus. You are feeling more and more sick. You know that people die of these sort of illnesses all the time. Your friend has the power to heal you but He isn't showing up and there's nothing anyone can do for you. How desperate must you feel? And how devastated as each day passes and your condition worsens. And Jesus doesn't come. I wonder if Lazarus started to doubt if Jesus loved him. I think I would have. I wonder if he felt angry. Or betrayed. Or simply not important enough. Its horrible enough being so ill you are at death's door without knowing there is a possible cure out there to which you have no access. When the messengers returned what did they say? ' We gave the message to Jesus but He seemed kind of busy and we don't think He is planning on coming any time soon' And of course He didn't have to come - He could have just said the word and Lazarus would have been healed. But He didn't. Poor Lazarus. I'd never stopped to think before about what he went through in the days before he died. With his sisters pacing the floors and looking out of the windows and telling him that Jesus would be here soon... Sometimes God doesn't show up. We beg and plead and know that if He doesn't show we will die. And He doesn't show. We don't understand it and it makes us question everything. We rage and despair and plead and hope and watch and wait...... and then all of a sudden it is too late. The moment has passed. The chance has gone. It's over and Jesus didn't come through for us. What do we do then? That is a REALLY important question.
I think we have two choices. We can look at Jesus and say - well it was never about me anyway. We can look at the Bible and everything it tells us about the nature of God as revealed in his Son, and look at our past history and remind ourselves of everything He has done for us and in us and through us in the past - and then we can decide that even though we don't understand and we feel let down and something has died we are still going to believe that God is good all the time. We make an active decision to choose to believe regardless of the circumstances. Or, we look at the circumstances and we deduce that because God didn't do what we wanted Him to do in the timeframe we needed Him to do it in that He is not who He says He is and we can't trust Him any more.
It's hard. It really is.
It has never happened to me...... well not yet..... but it has happened to close friends of mine. The loss of a baby. The affair of a spouse. The death of a partner. These are the Lazarus moments. Where we see something so valued and valuable slipping from our grasp and God does not seem to be listening to our sobs and cries for mercy and help.
Jesus knows how it feels to be left to die by the God who is supposed to be His loving Father. Except that Jesus had a different attitude - He laid down His life. He trusted God so completely that He was prepared to allow Himself to be forsaken on a cross ' for the joy that was set before Him' He doesn't rage and rail at God but instead prays for the ones who are putting nails through his wrists. Its all upside down and back to front. It doesn't make sense. But that is the very essence of this faith business...... its all the complete opposite of the world in which we live. God is never late. He does actually know what He is doing and why. But His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.Lord Jesus, help me to trust You more. Help me to believe that You are merciful and good even when my circumstances are shouting otherwise. Help me to hold things lightly knowing that it is not all about me and that , at the end of the day, Your plan for my life is an eternal one and this life is but a drop in the bucket of eternity. Give me the ability to endure through the difficult days and rejoice in the good ones. And when You dont answer my prayers in the way I hope You will, remind me that it's not because You don't love me, but because You do.
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